‘a charming manner enhances personal beauty’
I have had a series of media approach me recently asking the same question: “Are Old Fashioned Manners Still Relevant Today?, Are they important and why do we need them? And what is Etiquette? My answer, in short, is yes, indeed they are.. here’s why:
As an overview, etiquette is a set of rules largely unwritten, a code of behaviour or conduct which smooths social interaction between members of a group, community or society.
Manners, either good or bad, are how we choose to behave towards each other, they reflect the consideration we hold for the other person. Good manners are largely displayed when a person follows the code of etiquette accepted as the norm within a particular group.
I think good manners are a sign of good breeding but good breeding doesn’t necessarily mean how much money you have, what status in the community you hold, where you live or even what school you attended, it’s more about, the home spun values that have been passed on by your own family and the community around you. I do believe that it doesn’t matter if you are as poor as a church mouse or at the upper echelon of a wealthy society; manners are about being a good person and inherently having something in you that is able to display good manners, it’s basically having a respect for others. Good manners, by definition, are understanding the rules of etiquette in your society/community and then respecting and abiding by them not as a forced thing but rather something that comes naturally.
So what of manners and etiquette in the 21stCentury? With most of us having email addresses, and at least one mobile, home and work number that we can be contacted on, how do we make sure our politeness penetrates the cyber world? Remembering that consideration of others is key to good manners, it is polite to ignore text messages, phone calls and emails when in the presence of another. If each blink and beep of your Personal Technological Device provokes a reaction in you, turn it off or at least put it on silent. There is nothing worse than making time to meet a friend who spends the entire engagement communicating with non-present others. The person in your presence takes precedence.
First Impressions are still the lasting impressions, so here’s a couple of Must Have Manners when first we meet:
- Smile (Smiling when speaking makes people feels more comfortable around you)
- Repeat that person’s name when introduced to you (respect – shows they too are important)
- Remember their name! (Always make us all very special but not always easy to do so having other warm and general nouns & adjectives handy helps)
- Ask how are you? – (Be genuine in your interest in their well-being)
- Answer your questions with positivity – (Positive people have the most friends as they are always engaging and uplifting)
- Respect boundaries especially if it is a first time meeting – (Get to know them before you put your foot in it)
- Say nice to meet you, lovely meeting you etc (Mean it) happy to see you – (Again, smiling while saying this makes everyone feel warmer and more genuine)
Let the relationship flow from there…
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‘exquisite manners need to be genuine’
